Corona Devo 111

Who do you think you are? 

I had a rotten day yesterday, and most of it seethed with an internal conversation in my mind that I applied to many things and people around me, and the core was always the same: Who do you think you are? 

Everything and everyone was dissatisfying to me.  I was discontent, unhappy, short and almost tormented by the lack of peace inside my mind and heart.  It was ugly.  I was ugly. 

And if I thought it was bad for me, I seriously pity my family that were forced to be around me.  I have since apologized sincerely to them.  I didn’t want to be in that ugly place, and I didn’t want to treat them the way I did while I was there. 

All the while, I saw myself as vindicated and I was selfishly thinking (of other people/situations): “Who do you think you are?”.  But a more appropriate and convicting question would have been to ask myself, “Who do you think you are?” 

“Look at the proud!  They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked.  ~Habakkuk 2:4

Looking back on my “mood” now, I can’t even really relate to what was actually upsetting me.  Today, my situations have not changed, but I thank God that He helped me climb out of the slimy pit that I was keeping myself in.   (He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. ~Psalm 40:2).

Does any oneelse have days like that?  Or afternoons? Or Nights?  I am ashamed to admit that kind of mood/spirit/Christian ugliness.  Feeling that way and acting that way is all pride.  In those moments, somehow I imagine myself onto a pedestal (of pride) where I view the ways that others do things or their personalities (different from mine) as inferior to my ways and preferences.  

My pride then separates me from being a part of "normal life" with my family and friends, because I become so discontent I can't participate fully.  

Sometimes I think I am crazy.  Do I have a monster living in me?  Am I a monster?  Yes, the monster within is pride.  And if I don't cut off his head he will eat me up.  The monster of pride bites into our relationships and it can ruin our lives if we do not cage it. 

“Look at the proud!  They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked.  ~Habakkuk 2:4

It's an interesting phrase that Habakkuk links to our pride getting out of control: "their lives are crooked."

Yes, I am not walking a straight line, a fair line, a kind line or a compassionate line when I am behaving pridefully.  And even though I love Jesus very much, when I succumb to those ugly days or hours-- I am walking crookedly.  I am off of Christ's path, and I am running headlong down my own selfish trail, and it's dangerous-- for me and for those around me.  

I know the merits and blessings and bounty of trusting in Christ: why would I choose to trust in myself?  There is no contest between who is better equipped to be in charge of my life: The Lord!  But when I am in "that place" I have tossed reason out the window.

...their lives are crooked.  ~Habakkuk 2:4.   I desire a straight life.  A path that I am walking that leads right to God.  For my own sake first, but then immediately next for my husband and children--I do not want a crooked life.  I feel shameful for the twists and turns of my Christian-walk that are "crooked" as a direct-result of pride.  

“Look at the proud!  They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked.  But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.”  ~Habakkuk 2:4

I thank God that there is more to this verse!  That means there is more to me!  There is more to you!  God doesn't abandon us on the crooked path.  For each time that we choose the crooked turn of pride, He extends an opportunity and an invitation: “But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.”  ~Habakkuk 2:4

Yes, we will! We still can.  As long as we are still breathing, there is still time to step out of our pride and into God's plan.  Yes, I am guilty of pride and my life is crooked because of it on some days.  But just as I must own that side of my sinful self, and repel from it--we also (in Christ) get to claim the other side of this verse: But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.”  ~Habakkuk 2:4

Today, I will choose to be faithful to God.  Because of Jesus, we have righteousness within us and today, let's live by (our) faithfulness to God.

When pride throws it's ugly head in our direction and entices us to follow, I will say, "Who do you think you are?"   

Blessings,

sarah

https://sarahsundy04.blogspot.com/